‘When the person you love might not be around much longer ... it hits you like a brick’

Enhancing people’s wellbeing when they’re facing the end of their life is a core part of what St Catherine’s Hospice does.
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The local charity believes it’s vital that people can have as good a quality of life as possible in the time they have remaining.

Coronavirus means St Catherine’s has had to temporarily close its Living Well Centres in Crawley and Caterham to keep everyone safe, but St Catherine’s specialist teams have continued to offer people care and support virtually during this time, through individual telephone and video calls, wellbeing videos, and online advice.

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Lianne, one of the hospice’s physiotherapists, has also been running weekly exercise classes for patients and their relatives on Zoom. Here, a couple of patients share what this support has meant to them.

Alec and Julie X_HWrRUJxSrCiwr_X0PlAlec and Julie X_HWrRUJxSrCiwr_X0Pl
Alec and Julie X_HWrRUJxSrCiwr_X0Pl

Alec, who has been attending St Catherine’s Living Well Centre, said: “I looked forward to coming to the hospice every week before coronavirus, and it was helpful to meet other people in a similar situation. I started attending St Catherine’s hour-long exercise class, and doing the classes helped me last a bit longer when I was walking around our village.

“I was made to feel so welcome when I came to the hospice that I told my wife, Julie, to come along with me too. She watched the exercise class from the back of the room, but we both got value from attending.”

Julie added: “When you first hear the word ‘hospice’ you think someone’s in imminent danger of passing away, but that’s not the case. Alec has been carrying on since his diagnosis four years ago.

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“The hospice has been really good at helping him manage the symptoms of his illness, and their kindness and the way they value him as a person, even though he has an illness that can’t be cured makes a difference.

Geoff and DiGeoff and Di
Geoff and Di

Alec agrees: “At the hospice you’re treated like you’re a somebody.”

As Alec’s carer and spouse, Julie has also found the hospice helpful. “When you’re faced with the prospect that the person you love, who you’ve been with for over 40 years, might not be around much longer it hits you like a brick.

“When someone you love is diagnosed with an illness, the rest of the world goes on as if nothing has changed, but the whole world has changed for the both of you.

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“People don’t really understand how awful it feels in the following days, weeks and months after that news, as a patient or spouse, but at St Catherine’s people do.”

During coronavirus, Alec and Julie have continued to receive support from the hospice at home. Alec says: “We’ve been shielding and stuck in our flat, so I’ve not been able to walk much, but the weekly exercise class on Zoom with Lianne has been a help. We mainly do seated exercises, focusing on our head to our waist, so it’s worked out perfectly as I can do them from my chair.

“We’ve also continued to have phone calls from the hospice, and someone has checked up on how we are. Julie gets a call every week, as she was feeling a bit down and worried about me, and she really appreciates that support.

“We’ve been so impressed with the way St Catherine’s does things. The hospice does a fantastic job and we’d like to thank anyone reading who supports them.”

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Geoff is also a patient at St Catherine’s and usually attended the Living Well Centre on Thursday mornings. His wife Di said: “When Geoff was having problems in 2018, I was getting very anxious about him, Our doctor referred us to the hospice, and a hospice nurse visited us at home to help Geoff with managing his sickness and nausea and not being able to eat.

“When we started going to the hospice on Thursday morning it was a lifesaver. It was wonderful to see people and to join in wellbeing activities like Tai Chi exercise and reiki.”

Geoff said: “Now we’re not able to attend the Living Well Centre in person, we look forward to the Zoom exercise class each week. We’ve been shielding so we’re not seeing anyone, so it’s good to see Lianne and other people. We give them all a wave.

“Using Zoom has been a learning curve for us,” added Di, “but Lianne’s wonderful. She’s so kind, understanding, and patient and it’s nice that she already knows Geoff. She’s friendly and warm and is always cheerful. She certainly cheers us up each week and we enjoy the interaction.”

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Knowing the hospice is still there to support them has made a real difference to Geoff and Di. “We’ve continued to have phone calls from Lianne and the nurses,” said Di. “And it’s reassuring to know I have someone to turn to, to chat with and to give me advice.”

Geoff added: “We appreciate everything the hospice does. Even though we can’t visit they’re still helping us.”

Di urged people to donate to St Catherine’s if they can. “Your money will be well used and well appreciated. It will help to make life easier for a lot of people who are struggling in one way or another. Thank you to anyone who is able to donate.”

To make a donation to help St Catherine’s continue to provide expert care and support to more people in your community please visit www.stch.org.uk/ourhospice