Clare’s cheeky take on mums at the school gates

We have all met them - the helicopter mum who hovers round her children; the earth mum who bakes her own bread and the gossipy mum who likes a chin-wag.

Wednesday, 5th March 2014, 1:10 pm
Part of the front cover of Clare and Elisabeth's book, illustrated by Karen Donnelly

Clare Christian from Haywards Heath, who has two children of school age, hit on the idea of writing about her impressions of mums - and a few dads - at the school gates after talking to a friend in the north of England who had come across similar stereotypes.

The result is a hilarious book called The Playground Mafia. Written by Clare and her friend, Elisabeth Kent, it has taken off in such a big way that it is being serialised in the Daily Mail.

Clare, whose youngest child goes to Blackthorns Primary School in Lindfield, said: “The mums were gently prodding me for information to see if stereotypes in the book are based on them but they’re not - it’s a mixture of impressions and just a bit of fun.”

Stereotypes range from Snooty Mum to Wannabe WAG Mum.

“I think I’m closest to ‘Harassed Working Mum’ who screams up to the school gates, boots both kids out of the car and gets back to work,” said Clare.

“Hot Mum always look brilliant with sexily tousled hair. Flaky Mum can’t remember where her kids should be at any one time and Sporty Mum limbers up half an hour before the race on sports day!”

In their book, Clare and co-author Elisabeth encourage parents to hold a ‘Playground Mafia Party’ to tick off as many stereotypes as possible on the guest list.

Clare said: “A Mafia party is a great idea as long as you accept that Snooty Mum won’t come along unless your house is worth in excess of £2million....and there’s every chance you’ll find Mistress Mum and Toyboy Dad ‘at it’ in the shed!”

The book contains suggested cocktail recipes, including ‘Hanky Panky’ for Mistress Mum and ‘Hairy Naval’ for Midlife Crisis Dad.

The book - illustrated by Karen Donnelly and published by John Blake - is available on Amazon. Clare is planning a sequal to The Playground Mafia, looking at mums at the school nativity, the school fair and sports day. Tittle-Tattle Mum will love repeating every word.