Grieving Haywards Heath mum raises money for teenage son’s memorial service: 18-year-old Jade Hutchings died last year

Beatrice Hutchings Alumaiya, 42, of Long Walk, said Covid restrictions did now allow her to hold a proper funeral for Jade after he died on May 23, 2020.

“Not a lot of people were allowed to attend,” said Beatrice, who lives with her daughter Melissa, 14.

“We just had really a short service at the cemetery and that was it, and we promised people we would do something at some point to let everyone come and pay their respects,” she said.

Beatrice hopes her GoFundMe page can raise £3,000 for a service at Lindfield Golf Club in 2022.

“We are thinking of having it on his 21st birthday or earlier than that,” said Beatrice, adding that Jade would have turned 20 on Friday (December 10) this year.

“We want to do something including fireworks, something like that for friends.”

Beatrice said that any money left over from the fundraiser would go towards helping Jade’s sister and also to a mental health charity, possibly YoungMinds.

Jade attended St Joseph’s Catholic Primary School in Haywards Heath and St Paul’s Catholic College in Burgess Hill, and Beatrice described him as sporty, quiet and intelligent.

“Jade was just generally a very clever boy,” she said.

“He went to school as he should but everything didn’t work out very well, especially after he finished his GCSEs,” she added.

Beatrice said Jade worked at Marks and Spencers in Haywards Heath from Christmas 2018.

But she said he suddenly began to show worrying behaviours like smoking cannabis and drinking.

“Eventually his behaviours got worse and worse where he dropped out of college and he dropped out of his job as well,” said Beatrice, adding that Jade went through severe depression, anxiety and mental health problems.

She said: “He started to go missing and he said to me ‘mum I don’t feel good enough in myself because I left school, I feel I’m letting you down, I’ve let myself down, I’ve got no friends’.”

Beatrice, who had to undergo dialysis three times a week because of kidney failure, got in touch with social services about Jade, but said she does not think he got the help he needed.

“When things didn’t go well he went missing,” said Beatrice. “I was always on the phone to police saying ‘can you find him?’”

She added that Jade became very depressed, especially during the lockdown, spending most of his time in his room while she was on dialysis.

Beatrice continued: “I could find him drunk and I said ‘why are you doing this to yourself?’”

“He said to me ‘Mum I don’t feel good in myself – I’m drinking this and I’m smoking weed because I’m numbing my feelings’.”

Beatrice said Jade was much loved by his family and friends, and that it has been very stressful waiting for his inquest, which she said has been adjourned until June 2022 at the moment.

She said Jade did not want to talk about what he was going through and she urged young people who are experiencing depression and anxiety to talk to their parents about their feelings.

If they feel that they cannot talk to their parents, she said young people should talk to a mental health professional who could talk to their parents on their behalf.

She added that parents need to know more about looking after young people’s mental health as well as their physical health.

Beatrice also believes that drug and alcohol addiction stems from mental health problems that need to be addressed in a non-judgmental way.

“I don’t want what I went through to happen to any family ever again,” she said.

People can donate to the fundraiser at www.gofundme.com.