Go vegan for Veganuary

Stoptober was a load of smoke and mirrors, Sober October was a walk in the park (with the bottle in a paper bag) and Movember was awkward. Us: great moustache, dude. Unidentified female customer: what?

This month we celebrate Veganuary. The idea is that people adopt the vegan diet in an attempt to rid the world of torture, slavery and inhumanity. Global veganism would also have the beneficial side effect of slowing the inevitable process of us destroying the planet.

Not all vegans are weird. Honestly. We can totally see why you'd think that - especially if you've met one - but we can assure you that some of us are able to coexist with the muggles. We pass through restaurants, hotels and bars virtually undetected, with not a single strand of hair dyed blue.

There are more of us than you realise and we're in good company - Brad Pitt, Beyoncé and J-Lo to name but a few.

Team GB is slightly less impressive - Romesh Ranganathan, Sarah Pascoe, and some guy off Downton Abbey. The celebrity endorsements have helped Veganuary's rapid growth over the last few years and they currently boast over 12,000 participants.

The Veganuary website tells you everything you ever wanted to know about veganism, so we'll leave that part to them. It even provides answers to some of the fascinatingly stupid questions people will ask you if you partake.

You can 'take the challenge', sign a form or something, read testimonials and generic blurb, and there's even an obscenely brightly coloured wristband up for grabs, but in essence, it's simple - one doesn't consume sentient beings or anything derived from them. Not exactly rocket science.

So what does this have to do with coffee? Not an awful lot, but if you're lucky enough to have a column in the city's best-read weekly newspaper with around 20,000 readers each and every week, it'd be churlish not to abuse that privilege for a worthy cause.

Go vegan for Veganuary. For the animals, for the planet, and for you.