Wine ’em, dine ’em, Lynam’ – now Des is swapping sport to talk to the animals

Lynam has not one, but two books published on July 21 – when the animal-themed ‘Now Who’s Talking?” parts one and two hit the bookshelves.

Des, 80, fondly remembered for his decades on the box presenting major sporting events and Grandstand, spoke to us at his seafront home in West Sussex and explained how the idea first came about.

“It never occurred to me about writing about animals,” Des recalled. “I was looking out of the window one day, and the two magpies who usually stood together were at opposite ends of the garden. I wondered if they’d had a row. Obviously, we don’t know how they communicate, so I made it up from there.

“I made them speak English obviously, and created some dialogue, that was the first one and it grew from there, doing other animals. I thought it was quite funny and hoped somebody else would.

"Then one day Bryony Hill, widow of Jimmy Hill, phoned me up and asked me what I was up to. When I told her she asked me to read them to her over the phone, thankfully she laughed out loud, she found them hilarious.

“She then said ‘I’d love to do the illustrations for them’ … she sent me some and they were perfect.”

The project moved quickly, and Des ended up writing enough for four books back-to-back, Now Who’s Talking?, Now Moo’s Talking? (a farmyard version), Now Zoo’s Talking and finally, a baby animal version, Now Coochie Coo’s Talking.

“Someone suggested I get them published, so I contacted BBC publications, they said the best publishers out there for this kind of new work were Austin Macauley. So, I sent them in, and they sent back glowing praise, which I found astonishing and very heartening.

“Jonathan Martin, who was my Head of Sport at the BBC, asked me where I got that imagination from! And Dick Knight (ex-Brighton and Hove Albion chairman) joked ‘If you’re not careful you’ll be rich again!’

“Since I stopped doing television, people often ask me, what do you do all day now? ‘I say stare out of the window into space’, and this is what that’s produced!”

Given the quality of the content Austin Macauley has taken the unprecedented step of publishing both volumes on the same day, Friday, July 21,, and as always, you’re never too far way from a classic Lynam quip...

“At £6.99, 14 quid buys you the two!” he joked.

In the future Des hasn’t ruled out another book. “To be honest I could have improved on the original texts, I’ve got lots more ideas, if they books sell, I will obviously think about doing another one,” he added.

Another route could be television – given the previous success of the Creature Comforts Show of 20 years ago, “I’ve got a pal locally, Mike Payne (formerly of the comedy double act Burke and Dale) who said he’d love to voice the characters with me, I’ve also spoken to Rory Bremner (the man who originally dubbed Des, Wine ’Em and Dine ’Em) who’s been extremely complimentary.”

Could Dishy Des yet be back on the box? Don’t bet against it!

Now Who’s Talking? parts one and two are published on July 21 priced £6.99, publishers Austin Macauley, London. Available in Barnes and Noble, Waterstones and all good bookshops, copies can be pre-ordered on Amazon.